this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
