people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
