is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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