I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She needs sedatives and a leash
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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