I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
