I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
