TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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