I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
