I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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