I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
