And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
