no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
