For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
