is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
