So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
