im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Say something about gay babies.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
