It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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