Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The Olympian is in my bed
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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