Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Randomize
