we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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