Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
