we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
