laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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