Please, let me fuck your mom
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
