she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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