david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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