A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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