Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
