I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
