we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well I just put wine in my tea
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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