Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
