This is not my ceiling
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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