something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Bring me that man meat
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
