I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
