i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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