She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
