You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
