omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
