and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
