Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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