We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
