I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
