I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
