I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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