There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
