Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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