I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
