so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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