He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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