when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
