so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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